The Lost are not Forgotten
by DivergentHostGirl
Summary: This is how Tobias finds the lost and remembers the forgotten.


The Lost are not Forgotten

Tobias was wise child. He got out of his abusing father's house the second he got a reasonable chance. Some may call it being cowardice, but they didn't get whipped with a belt and told it was for their own good.

When Tobias made the switch to Dauntless from Abnegation it came as a shock. Marcus, his father, felt betrayed and claimed that Tobias was a backstabbing traitor. The worst part was that the entire Abnegation believed him. No one had even an ounce of doubt. The Dauntless had different reactions. They were thrilled. However, it created a touchy subject between the Dauntless and Abnegation.

Tobias didn't want to be asked why he transferred. So when the time came for his name to be changed he was grateful. Four fears was a rare and extraordinary thing, he thought it might make a decent name. Tobias went from Abnegation to Dauntless. He traded clothes, customs, styles, so he changed his name, too. Goodbye, Tobias; hello, Four.

With the loss of his Abnegation senses he needed a new fallback. Tough Guy seemed like the right one. With all the physical training required in Dauntless initiation Four became ripped. Girls were practically throwing themselves at him. That made him a likely victim of Zeke Pedrad's friendship.

They were practically polar opposites; Zeke is so open and revealing, like a picture book, but Tobias, Four to Zeke, was anything but trusting. However, that was what made them such good friends. Four would keep Zeke in check, and Zeke would help Four loosen up.

But Four was not such a hit with everybody in Dauntless initiation. Eric, an Erudite transfer at the time, was not thrilled to be one-upped by a stiff. Despite his hard work, Eric just couldn't place before Four at anything. Four had a bit of an advantage, though. He was divergent. His aptitudes were Abnegation and Dauntless. That's what helped him get through stages two and three so easily. That and the fact that he only had four fears.

Everything was set in stone for Four. He placed first in initiation, had a job he didn't despise, and nobody questioned his divergence. Then, the small blond from Abnegation had to go and mess it all up.

He had almost managed to forget his past, his ruthless, deadly, fearsome past. He almost had an ideal life. Almost. Then the second a screaming, grey blob fell from the sky that all shattered. But there was nothing he could do, for that little blond was determined. It broke him, but he was strangely drawn to that little blond.

The little blond who was a reminder of his past. The little blond named Tris.

In an attempt to act normally, he was cruel. He couldn't help it. Being cruel and ruthless was his fallback, but he thought being cruel would have scorched his chances of ever being something to the little, blond reminder of his past. He wasn't devastated. He was as close to torn apart as the poster-child of Dauntless could get. And he knew there was no way he could change it; he had to throw knives at her, for god's sake. He left subtle hints, though, and if there was any way Tris could look past his wall of armor, it was through those hints.

One dreadful night Four lost it. He relied on Zeke and some serious booze to get all anxiety out of his mind. That was how he ended up totally wasted by the chasm one night. To top it all off Tris was there, with Uriah, Zeke's little brother, and two other initiates. Zeke would never let him forget what happened because Four spoke to Tris. He told Tris she looked good. If Four weren't totally intoxicated he would have probably been severely embarrassed.

Four was almost completely sure that Tris would know he had feelings for her by then, but of course he was wrong. She was just so oblivious. Then everything came crashing down. One night on his way home from the Control Room, Four heard screams. He came running to the chasm to find three boys ganging up on a little blonde girl. Then, he realized the little blonde was Tris. He took off running at them. He was furious. Nobody touches Tris. In his frenzy to kick their butts he totally forgot about the near-unconscious girl collapsed near the railing of the chasm.

That night, everything changed. Four realized that he wanted one more person to know his story, and he wanted it to be the little, blond angel that laid in his bed that night. She was so brave, fearless. He wanted her to know that he couldn't do the same. He just hoped she wouldn't look at him differently. There's nothing he hates more than the look of pity. He thought the best way was to take her into his fear landscape. It might be difficult, but it would be worth it, he decided.

Slowly Tris was nursed back to health by her friends. He knew he had to do it before she completed initiation. He also knew he wouldn't have to worry about her finding out about his divergence because she was divergent, too. The only part of the plan missing was how he would get her into his fear landscape.

Luck must have been on his side that night because on his way to his fear landscape to relieve some stress when he saw Tris. She was throwing what looked like wadded up newspapers into the chasm. Then she looked up. They met eyes for a fraction of a second, but it was long enough for him to see her smile in his direction. Then, before he knew it she was running to catch up with him.

He did the only thing he could think of to do. He gave her a syringe. She knew just what to do with it. His story was about to be revealed. It was scary as heck, but he also felt a bit relieved.

After the simulation ended he gave her a moment for it to sink in. Then for the first time in years someone spoke his name, and it wasn't spoken with regret of fear or pity, but it was spoken with love and understanding. That was why he did this. Without thinking he took her hand and led her to his favorite spot. They sat down in that one unique dry spot at the bottom of the chasm. Then a miracle happened. They kissed. It wasn't forced, but it was wanted on both ends of the kiss. It was even more spectacular than he thought it would be.

That's when he realized just how repulsive his life would be without this girl, his girl. She is a reminder of his past, but, unlike his past, this is something of a phenomenon. He needs his bitter past to make him a better man. To keep him from being the despicable, pimple on the butt of humanity he was. His life before Dauntless was lost, but now with something to keep it found, he is so thankful.

So the moral of his story is that the lost are not forgotten. They never truly will be, no matter how hard you try. But sometimes the lost shouldn't be forgotten. They became a part of you, and if you forget them, you might just forget an important part of yourself.


End file.
